There's (unfortunately) a lot to write here and again unfortunately, I need to set the stage first with some disclaimers. It's my experience that when there are disclaimers, then things can't be good.
I think people I know consider me to be a "nice guy". I don't think I am a nice guy and I certainly don't strive to be one. Rather, I strive to be a decent person. Perhaps being a decent person makes you into a nice guy. I don't know. Still, I see a distinction there even though it may be small. That being said, I really do try to be decent and do the right thing but things don't always work out.
That being said, a lot of things transpired before the race and they certainly had an impact on the race. I am going to try my best not to insult or even paint someone in a bad light. Unfortunatly, I think some of that may actually happen. I will change the names tho. If the person I reference sees this, then I am publicly (as if tons of people read this) apologizing if I cast you in a bad light. This is NOT my intention. This is my race report and I try to document everything good, bad and ugly. I will try not to include some things but other things are integral to the story so again I am sorry if I cause you any grief.
Now that that disclaimer is there, I can try to relate everything that happened. I think it will cathartic for me and I really need to get it off my chest even if I don't include everything. Even reading this abridged version, I sincerely hope that you reader will be able to understand even 1 percent of what I went through.
December 31st, I ran the Pistol Ultra in Tennessee. It was a 100 miler. After finishing, I texted a picture of the buckle to a few friends. One particular friend whom I shall name XYZ admonished me for not telling him about it. Well, Jamey and I ran the Paumonok 70K in March/April and I told him about it then. He seemed interested. OK - perhaps I should have reminded him about it a lot more times but I didn't. Hm... Mea Culpa I guess. In any case, I did tell him about the C&O Canal in March and he made me promise that I won't forget to include him in that. Oh boy!
In January, I ran the Presidential Inauguration International Marathon in Eisenhour Park. I had an ok time. Not great but ok. You can read the race report if you'd like but it's not real relevant to the story here. What is relevant is that after I finished, I grabbed some food and also mentioned the Hyannis Marathon to both Claire and to XYZ. XYZ asked me if I want to do a race in Maryland but I said that I already have Maryland and that I am going to get Massachusetts. Nothing else really happened after that related to this.
A few weeks later, XYZ messaged me asking again about MD. I reiterated MA and we talked about it a little. Without going too much into his private life here, he told me that his girlfriend (I will use GF for her here), broke up with him. They were going to go to a movie when they got home from work. When he got home, he found out that she took off from work and packed up her stuff and left. There's lot to potentially speculate here but I won't do that. Bottom line is that she hurt him and also saddled him with a $ 700 bill per month that he was not ready for. Bottom line is that her "Dear John" departure if you will, has now caused him to be very mindful of his budget.
I would just like to say that I met his GF at the same time as I met XYZ and I really do like her as a person. She's very nice. I truly don't think that her intent was to hurt him but rather that she believes that it was the right thing for her to do for her.
In any case, he was obviously hurt and besides the money thing was really hoping for company. Maryland is a long drive and wouldn't it be great to travel together and to save money together? He looked at the Hyannis race and deemed that it was good. We decided to do this together.
I must admit that I was happy as well with this. Obviously splitting gas/tolls would be nice but having company on the ride would be awesome. I think that also I could have perhaps helped him a little by giving him comradry. I would not take sides but I think it would still help.
The drive is about 4.5 hours as it is "on the cape", whatever that means. It was also a late start. Starting at 10am has some advantages and disadvantages. Starting so late means that I could potentially drive up there race day and save money on motel and also see the family more. It also means that I need to rush back if I would like to see Jeremy before he gets on the train back to school. As I said, I was torn.
In any case, I asked XYZ if we could take his car and he said yes. This part is important so don't forget that part.
Once the semi-decision has been made, a bunch of conflicts arose. I realize now that while he is a nice enough of a person, we as far as schedules go are not compatible. Let me explain...
| Me | Him | Resolution |
|---|---|---|
| I thought that if we leave the day off, then we should leave at 3:30am latest. | He thought that if we leave the day off, then we should leave at 5:30am latest. | Look at the next item (Read his column first). |
| I said that he can stay over but I would be waking up at 1am to eat and to use the bathroom. He was not happy about that. | He then asked about sleeping over at my house to save the 30 minute drive from his place in Long Island. | I deeply apologized about my stomach. He proceeded to grumble and complain to me and then complain to Jamey about it. |
| I decided that I want to drive the night before so I can try to maximize my sleep because I intended to finish the race and leave right away. | He was ok with that. | All good so far but look at his column for the next line. |
| I don't want to share a room. There are 2 basic reasons. I don't think it's fair to anyone to deal with the fact that I need to wake up 4 hours early to eat and to use the bathroom. Also, I get chafed and I need to apply vaseline and I want to do that comfortably in my room without having to close the door. | He wanted to share a room to save on money and to hang out. | He was REALLY not happy with that. Lot of grumbling and complaining to me. Lot of grumbling and complaining to Jamey. Jamey said he felt like he was being interrogated about when we went to Beast of Burden. To pacify him though, Jamey agreed to share a room with him at C&O. Jamey is way too nice and I think will pay for that. Did he really not realize that I would find out? Jamey didn't volunteer this info but when XYZ brought up that he thought Jamey and I shared a room at Beast, I asked Jamey. I was going to pay for his room as a one time gift because of my inconveniencing him. |
| I am not happy about all these conflicts, the talking behind my back to Jamey about this as if we are little kids and the fact that I thought this may do more harm to our friendship. | He's obviously got issues with me and my style. | I suggested we take 2 cars. He was really NOT happy about this and since Jamey explained my stomach to him (Seriously?!? It's not embarassing enough my issues that someone else has to explain this for me?!? I really like having to wake up so early to eat or to use the port-a-bush at times during runs? He grudgingly accepted that he will have to pay for his own room as long as I find a cheap place. |
| I wanted to leave right away so perhaps I can se my son before he goes back to school. | He wanted to eat a nice big dinner in MA after the race. | He aggreed to go back right away. |
| I wanted to leave around 4pm on Saturday so I can have an early dinner with the family. | He wanted to leave at 2pm so he can seriously enjoy himself at the expo. | I agreed to 2pm. Read his column first for the next one. |
| I politely asked if we were taking my car. | He asked me if I had an EZpass in my car or if he should bring his along. | I didn't say anything about the fact that he said he would drive and now suddenly this change. Was I stupid for not saying anything? I don't know. At this point, I just wanted to get this race out of the way already. Read his column first for the next one. |
| While this is a blessing, I had already got it stuck in my head that I would have company during the drive. I was pissed but I didn't say anything. | Day before race he informed me that we would be going seperatly. | I called the motel and changed the reservation so that he would be able to check in whenever he wants. I also asked them to make sure that I would NOT get stuck paying for his room. Enough is enough. |
On a positive note, I was now free of all baggage, physical and emotional. On the negative side, I was worried about the whole driving by myself thing. Oh well.
I left Saturday around 3:30ish. The drive for the most part was uneventful. One thing that happened was that the GPS couldn't find the hotel. I grabbed my in-laws GPS and it didn't work either. I finally put the EXPO address in there and it found it. I knew that the expo was 2 miles away so I figured I would get into the vicinity and deal with it. After the Throgs Neck Bridge, I hit a lot of traffic. I started waze and not only did it find the hotel but it also skirted me away from the traffic. Yay...
I got to the motel and checked in. The room had working indoor plumbing and was clean. Those are the only 2 things I need.
Next morning I woke up and got ready. One of my buddies (Ilhan Oh) from Alley Pond, a member of the Korean Running Club, was driving the day of. I wondered if I would see him. He's super fast.
I got ready and left the motel to race site. I had to make sure to get a (close) parking spot and to check in. Saturday, the day before, my stomach was not doing well and I had taken Immodium. Now, race day Sunday, I was worried. I was worried that everything would try to get out. I got a great spot, checked in and hit the indoor plumbing. Not enough relief in my opinion but I can only hope/pray for the best.
I went to hang out in the car. It was cold and I had 2 hours to kill. I sat in the car, listening to music and charging my phone. It was a chilly day but worse was the fact that we had 25 MPH winds. Not happy about that. I did see Ilhan and we took a picture together.
Eventually it was time to leave the car. I was overdressed and I knew it. I was cold. I didn't care. I walked around and eventually stood next to a guy with his dog and talked to him a little. His wife was running the half.
I guess it is worthwhile mentioning here (and later again) that this race really is a half-marathon with other races at the same time. What I mean is is that there were about 400 people for the full while there was about a 1,000 people for the half-marathon. I don't know about the 10K.
Eventually I went inside to warm up right before the race. I saw Ed Peters and talked to him a little. Very nice guy. XYZ also saw me and came over. Not sure what to say about that. I can't say I was incredibly friendly to XYZ. I was cordial. That's it. I was sore. Can you blame me?
We did go outside and XYZ took a selfie with me. I didn't smile. He commented that I look so serious. Dude, you drove me nuts! Should I be anything other than serious?
The race finally started. This wasn't going to be a good day. It was cold and windy and I was still stressed about everything. I felt it. I was all tense. Usually, I do these races and look to make a friend. Here, I didn't want to talk to anyone. I never put music on. I did it this time. I really felt like this race was poisoned to me and now I can't enjoy it. Drama Queen much? No not really. Remember that this is the abridged version and there was so much more and it really stressed me out.
One or two miles in, my shins were burning. Then I got a phone call and my music stopped working. Not happy. Well, I ran into 2 maniacs. I think her name was Cathy and a dude named Travers. They were awesome. My instinct took over and I started talking and I could feel the stress bleeding off of me.
Cathy was on/off with us. I talked to Travis most of the way. It was great. Navy guy. Good guy.
He did a bunch of races in South America but I forget where now. He told me how he and his buddy used to song bomb people. They would purposely sing a song in a low tone all through the day to get other people to sing it. Later they would see who got more people doing it. He also told me how he was working on a minesweeper and was heading for shore leave right before Hurricane Katrina. Their Captain told them that he knew they were due for leave but he asked that they stay. They all did. First they had to outrun the storm. They were doing 15 Knots while Katrina was doing 14. He told me of how on one side there was a clear blue sky while on the other side, it was nothing like that. After they rode out the storm in a harbor, they did their duty. No, there weren't any mines to sweep but the harbor was full of debree and the relief boats couldn't get through. Their boat cleared a path. A wreck if you think of it as a mine that can't detonate.
As I said, we had a good time. At one point, he started fading and we stayed together. The last 5 miles, a woman who was doing her first asked to join. Travis told me to take her in and I left him to escort her. Truly a Marathon Maniac attitude. He did bridge back to us but lost us on a wind hill.
I should mention that the course wasn't terrible except for the winds. The water was beautiful and while I don't enjoy loops, the last few miles to the finish, whether you're doing 1 loop or 2, do sneak on you.
There was the last turn and my friend sent me on my way. I sprinted toward the chute. XYZ was running out there with his medal. I had no misconception that he would beat me.
I was handed water but I had to ask for my medal. What? She finished and I gave a hug and congratulated her. I went inside to find food. I wasn't sure where anything was.
Remember that I mentioned that this was a half marathon with some other races? There wasn't too much food left. Damn vultures ate it and none was being guarded. I knew I needed something for the drive back so I scraped the last 1/2 cup out of a container of vegetable barley soup. It was cold but tasty. I topped that off with a donut. Plenty of that garbage was there. Some people probably are reading this now and thinking that I am an IDIOT but that is NOT the food that I want. I will say that the donut was delicious. Travis finished at this point and bro hugged. I found a water bottle that I decided was 98% not used and decided to 100% not think about that I may be sharing germs with someone. Oi.
XYZ at this point came in. He was happy. Good for him. He ran well and perhaps worked some more of his demons out. I was all buisiness. I ran slow and my schedule was not looking good time wise. I should have already left but I didn't really eat and now still needed to change clothes and time was super tight. I was still sore about that whole crap. I didn't smile. I guess he wanted to cheer me up so he told me that everything went well and that he ran another 7 miles after finishing. I think my poker face was good because all I could think about was "How the hell is that going to cheer me up?". Well, he clearly saw that I was still not cheered by the fact that I was super slow today so he told me the following gem. "Don't worry...One day we will travel to a race together". Yup - I'm sure that should have cheered me up. Unfortunatly it didn't. By the way, I truly believe that he was actively trying to cheer me on. I wonder how you, the reader of this garbage, would have reacted. What pleasant words or face daggers would have been spewed by you. Me, I just gave a weak smile and said I had to go.
I changed clothes, got waze cooking and hurried home. It was going to be tight. If everything went well, I should be able to just make it to take Jeremy to the train. If not, then Elizabeth would take him and perhaps I can drive to the train station and still see him. It was a long drive tho. I knew I had to eat and I saw a sign for Wendy's which is my goto food after a Marathon. It looked like it was close the highway so I figured a quick detour wouldn't hurt anything as long as I would eat in the car while driving. I couldn't find the Wendy's. I also lost 20 minutes in that damn detour so not only I didn't eat, I knew I lost my opportunity to see the boy. Sucks!
I still was hopeful. Well, a few things changed all my optimism. I knew I had to stop for gas. I knew I had to stop for food. I knew that everytime I moved, my shirt would rip the bloody chafe that it was stuck in. Yes... Again. I was activly purposly moving to rip the shirt out of the wound because I was afraid that if I would let it just stick there, the rip later would be really bad. This way it only hurt 8 of 10 on the pain level. Things got very depressive. I ate at Subway and the food sucked. They didn't have this and that and I wasn't sure I would be able to tolerate real spicy right now. The food sucked and I was shivering while fueling up the car. I called the family to tell them that I won't make it in time. I settled in for the rest of the drive.
I got home around 8:20ish. The shower hurt and the road rash that I had on me looked the part.
Elizabeth after seeing my wounds said that I looked like I was in a war. One of the lifeguards announced that I looked like I had a fight with the road and clearly lost. Sucks.
On a positive note, I picked up one more state: MA. I also learned some things about me in the process. I should not have tried to do it alone. Music for a Marathon is not for me. I need people. It helps me. I also learned a little about XYZ. I believe in knowledge is power and well now I know...